Sure, it looks organized, but little do you know I had to remove about 30 pieces from the clothing rack to get it to look this good.
Alright, spring cleaning time. Obviously I’ll start with the most important sector of my life: my closet. God, I love throwing things away. It’s like a sartorial juice cleanse that just resets your whole wardrobe (slash personal identity), sans the three days of hanger.
First up is tops. Let’s see here, no, no, no. These have all crossed the line into too old and dingy looking. To the throwing-away-pile they go. Yes to my Brian Lichtenberg muscle tee, obviously. I haven’t worn it in awhile but it looks so cute with a colorful bra peeking out from underneath my arm pit. Definitely keeping my new tees from Everlane-AKA-my-latest-obsession. I should order some button downs from them. They really have the minimalist chic thing down and that seems to be where my preference has been leaning lately. What about this old ass black cardigan? I got it on sale at Marshall’s like 3+ years ago, so it’s done its duty pretty well. It’s starting to warp and fade so I suppose now is the time to say goodbye. Crap, that means I need to find a new layering cardigan. Wow, do I really have this many white, gray, and striped T shirts?
On to pants. Oh, pants, I’ve always kind of hated how difficult it was to find a good pair of you but now I seem to have too many. Okay, so keep the high-waisted black skinny jeans, keep the high-waisted gray skinny jeans. Uh oh, I have two high-waisted medium wash skinnies from J. Crew and Madewell. Should I get rid of one for the sake of efficiency? No no, what if I am in need of a freshly dried pair? I’ll keep both. I’m kind of over these overalls though (heh heh, get it? Over the overalls?) so they are going. Hmm, what else can I get rid of? These Seafarer bell bottoms I bought on super final sale that turned out to run way smaller than the website’s size calculator led me to believe: out. These white skinny jeans can go. Ugh, Becky, stop trying to make white denim happen, it’s not going to happen. You never have the right underwear, then when you walk out into natural sunlight you discover you can clearly see the lining of the pockets through the actual pants, then you spill ketchup/tomato sauce/red wine/chocolate on yourself and look like the victim of an unfortunate mishap involving bodily fluids.
Ohhh, I forgot about these Michael Kors dark wash trouser jeans. They probably don’t fit anymore; I’ll try them on to be safe. They were only $12 at Macy’s and I only even purchased them because my sister had enough spatial recognition to think that they were the right size, so it wouldn’t be a tragedy to get rid of them. Wait, these are awesome. Why have I not been wearing these instead of wasting money trying to find bell bottoms? $12 jeans for the win! Also going to keep my green velvet skinny jeans from J. Crew and the waxed denim I got on sale at the Tahari outlet. They are the closest thing I will own to leather pants for a long time.
Alright shorts. Ugh, I think I kind of hate shorts. Something about the combination of short and tight just makes me uncomfortable. Just pick one, am I right? Keeping these J. Crew athletic inspired pairs because they are mid rise, loose, have pockets, and are machine washable. So basically, they’re everything I could ask for. Hmm, I forgot that all my denim cut offs are old Hollister and American Eagle jeans that I just literally cut off myself because I needed shorts and didn’t want them to be that short. I’ll try these on to see if they still work. Wait, what? I wore these? These are so low rise they don’t even come to the top of my hip. Look at this little baby zipper! So small, so cute, so no. Am I getting old or is the style just much different from when I purchased these? God, I hope it’s only the later and not a combination of the two. Well, that’s 3 pairs of shorts gone. I’ll be heading to Madewell to see if I can replace these with something that covers my belly button, because that’s how pants should be.
And we’re on to the rejects at the back of the drawer. Cheap purchases that looked cute online and turned out to be poor-ish quality in real life, so I only wore them once or twice, if at all. Purple high-waisted shorts from ASOS, a green tulle skirt from ASOS, I should probably break my ASOS habit. I’ve stopped buying fast fashion for the most part but there’s also a problem with slow fashion, known as my wallet being a rate limiting factor, and it turns out when fast fashion is online it can be hard to recognize the quality problem.
Ok, I think I’ll stop there for today. This is great! I have so much more room in my drawers for those new jeans I ordered from ASOS.